


The Fallen

by LRoge



Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-14
Updated: 2019-10-14
Packaged: 2020-12-16 04:36:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21030356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LRoge/pseuds/LRoge
Summary: Post Nopocalypse lunch at the Ritz Crowley and Azriphale get drunk together and Azriphale admits how he really feels. Crowley is shocked Azriphale never knew he felt the same.





	The Fallen

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a prompt I saw on Perks of Being a Fangirl. May be other works like it.

"Get up. Get up off the floor,” drunken Aziraphale muttered. “How did you get down there?”

Crowley rolled over on the floor of Aziraphale’s bookshop, spilling his nearly empty glass of wine in the process. “I fell,” he laughed. “A Z Fell...like your name. I fell,” he burst into laughter again, wiping the tears from his serpent eyes. 

“Get up from there. It’s not funny,” Aziraphle encouraged. Crowley in turn burst into tears muttering incoherently about his car.

“...my Bentley, Aziraphale, remember that? I ride in on my flaming ...shhhhstallion to your rescue.”

“Yes, but your car’sss been returned to you, restored.” Aziraphle’s eyes wouldn’t focus and he was trying very hard to get the words out of his mouth.

After lunch at the Ritz they had enjoyed a casual walk in the park, arm in arm, due to the celebratory nature of the afternoon: Apocalypse had been averted and heaven and hell both believed they were indestructible. 

The new intimacy between them perhaps a little awkward but neither going to mention while riding the high wave of having survived the past 48 hours. Being just a little drunk on champagne and having recently swapped bodies helped. Neither could remember who or how they decided to link arms for a stroll. Aziraphale invited Crowley back to the bookshop for drinks while he began an “inventory” of the book collection. The book inventory never began however, because it started with an inventory of wine. 

“I came to rescue you,” Crowley coughed. He was laying on his back on the floor looking up at Aziraphale who squirmed awkwardly in his armchair like a four year old. “I’d do anything for you, angel. You don’t even know.” 

Aziraphale struggled to pour himself another glass of wine, but once he’d done he couldn’t remember how to drink and not spill it at the same time. He kept coming close to taking a sip, but instead exhaled blowing bubbles in the glass. He set the glass down and sighed loudly.

“I do know Crawly. I know you won’t like to know it, but I’ll tell you a secret anyway.”

“Tell me,” Crowley muttered sleepily from the floor where he gave the impression he wasn’t listening.

“I’m in love with you,” Aziraphale said with a giggle.

There was a silence in the room and Aziraphale assumed Crowley had fallen asleep or hadn’t heard him. Then there was a sober sounding, “what?” coming from the floor. The sound startled Aziraphale and made him shiver. He wasn’t sure if he had shocked, or enraged the demon.

“What?” Crowley repeated, sitting up. He looked and sounded instantly sober, and Aziraphale was surprised, and a little afraid. He started to sober himself as well, but couldn’t catch up to Crowley who was staring at him, unblinkingly with a deadly serious gaze.

“It’s been quite ssssome time,” Aziraphle began carefully. “For hundreds of years I thought it was a harmless crush on you - back during Elizabeth’s reign. The last one. The first one.  
“I only agreed to our arrangement at first so I could see you and spend time with you - I never wanted to actually...tempt people to evil. I thought I could influence you to be good. Or so I told myself. I thought… the feelings of liking you, would go away with time. But they only got worse - stronger. They got stronger.” 

Aziraphale reached for his glass of wine out of habit, sipped it, and then started sobering again. “I realized I love you when you saved my life and my books from the Nazis during the war. This feeling of love for you was never going to change. But you, you’re always coming to my rescue, aren’t you?”

“Yes.” Crowley said coldly, still staring at him.

“And I knew you wouldn’t have done it if you weren’t a little bit good. A special demon. And it’sss soak, it's ok for me to love you because angels… Angels, Crowley, are about love. It's our mission."

Crowley still stared silently, his expression unreadable despite having laid down his sunglasses sometime at the beginning of the evening and not knowing where they were now.

“I know you can’t ever love me back. I understand. I respect you for who you are, which is, which is a demon. And I don’t want to change you.”

“Are you joking?” Crowley blurted. “Are you kidding right now?”

“What? No.” Aziraphale protested. “I honestly do love you. I made peace with it. Though sometimes it makes me sad you can’t know the happiness of love."

“What’s wrong with you, angel?”

“-well, I’m still a little drunk” Aziraphale interrupted.

“You can sense love. You can physically sense it in your body, with your grace. All this time you can't tell that I’m hopelessly in love with you?”

Now it was Aziraphale’s turn to go stone cold and still. In fact, he dropped his wine glass to the floor where it shattered.

“What...what do you mean?”

“Aziraphale, I’ve loved you since … since probably the first day that we met. Since you, you asked me my name, and disobeyed God to help Adam and Eve.”

“I didn’t disobey anything! I made a decision! Angels aren’t supposed to … to disobey, ...or make decisions, but no one ordered me not to redistribute heavenly resources...such as a ..a flaming sword. I just acted...on my own,” Aziraphale protested. “You love me?” 

“Haven’t you felt it?”

“No! That’s just background static. The amount of love on Earth changes incrementally day to day, people are born, they die, they argue, they hurt one another, they fall in love, it just gradually balances itself. Sometimes it’s a little stronger than other times, but it’s usually about…” as he trailed off he realized Crowley was staring pointedly at him again. “.... all this time? Whenever I’m with you?”

“You didn’t know? I thought you were protecting your status as an angel. How could you not know?” 

“My dear, why didn’t you ever say anything?”

“I didn’t want to insult you. Why would an angel want to be loved by a demon?”

“Insult me?” Aziraphale whispered, the look which crossed his face was of impossible sadness.

“I thought it would offend your honor, and I'd just embarrass myself. And you ...you barely would admit we’re friends. What would you say if you knew...if you knew a demon loved you?”

“I’m honestly sorry, I didn’t know a demon could love. I thought you were meant to rather enjoy causing pain and discord.”

“I suppose, yes, that’s the job description, but you know not everyone likes their job. And no one likes feeling pain, angel. Causing it, it’s kind of like… writing, you give it a go and it doesn’t necessarily mean you like the result.  
I just create situations where humans decide if they’re going to fumble, and muck up their own lives - and usually they do. Usually it’s too easy to tempt them with wealth or power… I’ve laid off it for almost a thousand years now unless something really interesting comes up - like the M25! Anyway, humans have seemed dead set on destroying themselves, I barely need to put a hand in!”

“Yes, well,” Aziraphale looked guilty. 

“All this time! You didn't know?” 

“Don’t be upset, my dear. This is my fault! You’ve been a real sport, considering my feelings and not telling me, though I wish you had.”

“I saved you - every chance I got! I did miracles for you, whenever you asked, and I only ever made up a task to bring you into the arrangement on occasion to get to chat with you!”

“You what?”

“You think Scottish klan leaders need to be tempted into raiding villages and stealing cattle? It’s more like Wake up - what we going to do today? Oi! It’s Thursday! Let’s fuck with yonder village down the way!”

Aziraphale suppressed a grin, not sure if he should be angry or impressed, but in pinching his lips together so not to smile his eyes began to sparkle and Crowley shivered to look at him, he was too beautiful. 

“You lied.”

"Not a real lie! I knew your version of tempting the tribesmen would be something like, now of course you could steal cattle from neighboring tribe, but you don't want to do that do you? That would upset the peace between the tribes and could have consequences for your women and children. "

Azriphale blushed deeply. That was about the size of how he ran all the temptations Crowley had ever had him do. 

“You know me so well,” he whispered sadly, mostly to himself.

“I call you Angel, every chance I get.”

“Is that a flirtation!? I thought you were being literal.”

Crowley scoffed. He climbed to his feet and looked menacingly down on the angel. “6,000 years,” he muttered. “I’ve been in love with you 6,000 years and you never bothered to notice!”

“I’m so sorry, my dear. Did you know...know what my feelings were the same?”

“No!” Crowley shrugged and looked irate with an expression that said, Don’t be ridiculous. How would I know that? Before he could realize what he’d said. Aziraphale looked at him startled and said, “Well, then.”

“Sometimes, when you look at me, angel, it filled me with such hope. Demons, certainly aren’t supposed to hope.”

“That I loved you too?” Aziraphale asked, soberly.

“That we might not have to live this way. According to these rigid definitions. Angel, demon. I never liked being an angel all that time ago.”

“Crowley, don’t say that.”

“ I didn’t. That lot was always so obedient. After creation was finished we’d nothing to do but sit around, and everyone looking for someone rule breaking to tell on. They were no fun to be around, but then after the fall I found out demons were the worst.  
They leave you alone on earth for thousands of years. Hardly any directions. Then every once in a while, send someone up to do a one off project - and don’t even tell me about it. Just Presidential scandal, starting a war, not even a ring to say Hey, I know Earth’s been like your thing since Eden. I’m popping up for a day or two, let’s get a drink before I blow up a nuclear power station. No, nice job canceling Star Trek, or I heard this synthesizer music everywhere was your doing.”

“What are you saying?

Crowley fell to his knees before Aziraphale’s chair. He threw his hands about awkwardly, unsure what to do with them, and Aziraphale, unsure what he was trying to do , leaned away. He settled his hands on the armrests of Aziraphale’s chair, and leaned into him for an intense conversation. Aziraphale, unable to stay in his usual ramrod straight position, slid down in his chair a fraction of an inch bringing him closer to Crowley’s face. Crowley ignored this and prepared to launch into a monologue.

“Being a demon is so awfully lonely. You’re my only friend. Not only my only friend, you were the only angel who was ever nice to me.  
“Did you know after the fall no other demons even asked me name? They just assigned me earth and booted me out the door. War in heaven had just ended, almost all the guys who convinced me to go with Lucifer and them were gone. I had only just come up with a demon name, but no one asked. I was so damn lonely. I thought I’d risk talking to you, even though I thought, he’ll kill me with his flaming sword. It’s what any angel would do. Then you were willing to have a conversation with a demon. Asked me my name.”

“Crowley, you make it sound like you were only smitten with the first person who was nice to you”

“No! You listened to me when I questioned the almighty! I asked you where the sword was and you tell me you’re worried you did the wrong thing! No angel I met before ever risked doing the wrong thing for someone else and admitted it.” 

“Well, I did like you right away for chatting with me. It was lonely guarding the eastern gate, and then the only two people you’re guarding are cast out and there’s no one left to talk to.  
“You’re my best friend too, Crowley. I tried so hard to keep my feelings for you a secret, not only to protect myself. I wanted to protect you too. Especially since our arrangement. I was afraid if either side found out - I’d never see you again, or they’d kill you! I’m afraid I did too good a job hiding it.”

“Why...why didn’t you want to run away with me? Before the apocalypse?

“I did want to run away with you. But when I knew that hell was after you - some angels told me that you were in trouble before you did - I was afraid I’d slow you down. It wasn’t worth both of us being destroyed if you could get away. I still believed that I could be a good angel and love you, and I made a last petition to heaven to save the earth.”  
Crowley grunted. 

“I thought, maybe the last good thing I do will be to let you go. I don’t know what I would have done if I hadn’t been discorpated, but I knew if I had to lose heaven or earth I wasn’t going to lose you too. I suppose that’s why I left heaven, then. To go and find you and help you find Adam. I knew that… in the end… I’d rather be with you than the other angels, because I know you’re a good person.” 

Crowley gulped in a huge intake of breath, then swallowed, wordlessly. His unblinking eyes still wide in surprise, he stared at Aziraphale who noticed he was trembling. Aziraphale straightened himself against the back of the chair, and took Crowley’s hands in his. “Darling, you’re shaking,” he said. “Are you warm enough?”

Crowley looked down at Aziraphale’s hands in his. “All this time, I hoped we might just be together, one day, as friends, or whatever...but 6,000 years was too fast for you.”

Aziraphale smiled sheepishly, “Not too fast for me, now. I’ve finally caught up with you, it seems. Took me a bit.. Earth almost coming to an end. Heaven, trying to kill me.” 

He paused, then added, nervously, “ But do you want us to be lovers, Crowley?" 

“Uhh ...aren’t we already?" The demon looked genuinely confused. "I mean we...talked it out.."

"You...you must know about sex?" Azriphale's face reddening in growing frustration.

"It's for biological reproduction. We can't reproduce. Not without divine intervention, anyway."

"Humans don't only do it for reproduction."

"You mean lust, then?" Having hit on the deadly sin which he did understand, Crowley looked like he was going to laugh, or cry, or both.

"I mean intimacy. A physical expression of love."

"Why? Do you want that?" Crowley appeared torn between fear and disappointment.

"Do you?" Azriphale's eyes widened with genuine concern and curiosity but Crowley couldn't help but be damn annoyed he hadn’t answered the question.

"I don't know," Crowley muttered. "That’s putting in a lot of effort, isn’t it? We’ve never so much as kissed. Does it have to be a thing?”

“Well, I can remedy that,” Aziraphale said with a glint in his eyes betraying a less than innocent intentions. Crowley wouldn’t have called it sinister, but it was something shockingly new, coming from the angel.

He followed it by closing his eyes and puckering his lips and leaning towards Crowley as if something were just going to happen.

Crowley laughed out loud at his adorable angel. How could he be such a child after living on earth for 6,000 years? How could this innocent be the same angel that didn’t cave into the mafia threats when they wanted his bookshop location?

Oh sweet hell he loved this fool so much.

“Aziraphale. Keep your eyes open until the last second. Haven’t you ever kissed anyone?”

“No. A human...kissed me once.”

“Erghm...when was that?”

“In the late 1800’s, Crowley. A long time ago.”

“He didn’t love you like I do.” 

“He didn’t know me as anything other than human. I’m afraid I made rather quite a few mistakes, and … it’s a story for another day.”

“Fine, just-”

Aziraphale closed his eyes and gave Crowley a sweet peck on the lips. As far as kisses go it was about as chaste as a kiss between any preschool child and their friends, or a child and a parent. 

Still when his lips touched Crowley’s, there was a crash of thunder and the ground began to shake, but perhaps they were the only two beings who heard and felt it.

Crowley opened his eyes and saw Aziraphale looking both distant and shocked. His face was red, but was quickly turning purple, then blue, and his body was too quiet. Crowley grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him.

“Oi,” he cried, “don't forget to breathe! Angel!"

“Ahhh,” he gasped, and color quickly evened out on his face. “I don’t know what this body can take. I think my heart stopped.”

“We can go as slow as you like," Crowley said, but he couldn’t resist letting his forked serpent’s tongue be visible as it flashed across his lips, giving the angel a wink.


End file.
